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The Monster in My Dad

         I shoved the car door closed with a grunt, shouldering my three bags awkwardly across my back. It was 10:15 pm, and my body ached as I waddled to the front door of my house. Homework: webassign, blog post, history prework. Great. Already half asleep, I stepped into the foyer, and was immediately greeted by the sounds of cacophonous thrums echoing throughout the living room. I approached the couch with my hands outstretched and grabbed the entity sprawled across it.  

“Dad, you’re snoring again.”

If I could get rid of something from my life, it would be my dad’s incessant snoring. Most weeknights, after a long day of school and dance rehearsals, I return home exhausted and dreading the night of homework to come. My night does not improve when I realize that my dad has fallen asleep in the living room, which connects every corner of the house. Frustration rises in me, and I wake him up. 

Though uncontrollable by mere will, this condition has driven a wall between my father and the rest of my family. For my mom, this happens quite literally. In the middle of the night my father’s snores reach their climax, and my mom is forced to move to my brother’s empty room across the hall. At hotels, we pack earplugs and force him onto the opposite side of the room. Though many people make jokes out of snoring and its supposedly marriage-ruining prospects, waking up at midnight to a grating sound is no joke in itself. I will forever be haunted by the 

However, my father is no less affected by his own snoring. It is like a monster that possesses him in his sleep. He will never be able to sleep on the couch without being noticed and promptly awakened. Though we reassure him that his snoring is a separate entity from him, I can’t help but hold it against him at times. If he were so bothered by our constant nagging, why doesn’t he look for a solution? Even if his will cannot stop it, a doctor certainly can. I can only hope and pray that my father finds the courage to seek help for his condition.

Comments

  1. AnnieNovember 1, 2023 at 6:07 PM

    Great Essay! I have never really thought about the negative effects of snoring, but this definitely brings some to light. I like the narration and the many examples you give for how this effects you and your families' life. I also really liked your introduction. I found it well written and intriguing. It definitely grabs the readers' attention and draws them into your essay. However, I think this essay could use some connection to the universal. Perhaps talk more about how others perceive snoring or how snoring can effect people and their lives in general.

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  2. Matthew UlozasNovember 2, 2023 at 12:51 PM

    I really like your opening paragraph. The suspense building up until the big ravel is a great attention grabber. However, the essay doesn't really come at the topic from more than one angle. You talk about how you and your mother are effected by the snoring, but right now it feels like just one perspective. You begin to get at how it effects your father in the conclusion, but it feels like that idea is cut short.

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  3. DmitryNovember 2, 2023 at 5:59 PM

    You do a really good job of writing a captivating narration, but you could definitely fix some things. Firstly you second to last essay just sort of... cuts off at "I will forever be haunted by the"--. Obviously this is a pretty easy fix, but the other issue might need some reworking to the essay. Reflection and a section of universal is needed, though those two are fundamentally linked so just adding reflection could fix that. Your essay sits at 366 words, which is just over a half of the word count, so you definitely have the room to write up a reflection section. However, you did genuinely do a really good job with the narration, and it really is interesting to read.

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  4. Miranda BurgosNovember 15, 2023 at 8:48 AM

    I found this essay very funny (I don't know if that was your intention though). I liked how you explored multiple perspectives, like how it is also a problem for your dad. I agree that the essay could use more reflection, and also the second to last paragraph randomly cuts off.

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  5. Isaak KumarNovember 15, 2023 at 4:08 PM

    Your opening paragraph is excellent. it's an excellent attention-getter is the tension that builds until the large unravel. But the essay doesn't really approach the subject from multiple perspectives. You mention how the snoring affects both you and your mother, but at this point it seems like a singular viewpoint. In the epilogue, you start to address how it affects your father, but it seems like that thought is abandoned. Overall, this essay has some great potential to be really good!

    ReplyDelete

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